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Oh, my God, I bought a Timeshare.

“the Lying Beggars”

We all have been shopping at some point, have read the labels on the various tins and bagged product which the grocer sells. The tins tell consumers what is in the un-opened package which intends to be consumed by them. The law ensures that the goods sold, explain to you what additives are included and so on. This is to prevent you from intending to buy “Baked Beans” only to opened the tin and find “Bat Dropping”, which (they alone) called Beans.  As the dropping, have been “Baked” legislation is introduced to explain that the “Baked” however Beans contained in the tin can, in reality, be Baked Bat dropping.

Well, it’s all right for the food shoppers, but what about timeshare consumers? Should a tin of timeshare be presented for sale (which is in many cases), you are never told (expressly) what you are buying.

For instance, try and find the word “timeshare” in the contract. It’s not there! It’s non-existent in many contracts. Is it the case that the nonexistence is meant to be a lovely future present for you, whereby you will yell with glee “I bought a timeshare, my god I’ve won the lottery”? Or will you slump into your chair and think the “cheating beggars”. You can take a tin of baked bat dropping back or you have lots little, however, in timeshare you’re locked in to buy the timeshare bat dropping forever.

The word timeshare is vacated and substituted for “holiday product” fractional Ownership of Holiday property”, “a Long-Term Holiday in a Club”, “a Holiday Points system” etc. Flowered by the verbal expressions “it’s an investment” and “vast rewards will come your way”.

The product timeshare. is worrisome and in the timeshare industry, many contracts fail to even describe it properly. Are you simply expected to know?

Ought not the legislators insist that every contract that is a timeshare, contains the wording on every page stating “You are Buying a Timeshare”? Would that not be fair?

That surely is the minimum requirement, however, should the core information not contain the following explanations of the product ingredients”

This tin of Timeshare contains – convoluted contractual terms, which are designed to potentially confuse people. (When acquired), what, you buy will be placed into a trust (on your behalf) and the seller’s connected entities will have every right to implement whatever they deem appropriate including taking it off you and changing you for the privilege.

Upon buying the timeshare you will be required to join a club and pay that club yearly fees what the seller connected entities will deem appropriate and for life (50 years etc).

Should you die you will be required to pass that membership on to your kids, who the seller will contact and make them take over your financial obligations. If they die, again they are required to pass it on and timeshare resort will enjoy a pipeline of profit till the sun don’t shine “no” more.

That’s like inheriting a Viking ship from your descendant “Ragner Lodbrok (Viking overlord)” and you are obliged to main his adventurous follicle boat even though, we now have cruise ships. To some, it’s called timeshare to others it’s called financial slavery.

The fees levied by us (the resort) will be calculated by us and you will not have the right to challenge what we charge. Equally the club you belong to will be controlled by us and on major issues, you will not have a vote.

We will collect data from you which we will keep and potentially sell to others or employ such lackadaisical systems, that it can be stolen from us so that others can make unsolicited approaches and calls to hound you for money claiming to provide service which they are unlikely to perform.

Should you require advice, we (the resort) will create and finance a collection of associations and departments ourselves or with our friends. They will give you advice and the advice we want you to hear, should you elect to take advice from others, we will hound you and them, call them names, try and create dissent, including the claim they are “cold callers” when not.

If you try and claim compensation, we will disseminate advice, that you will lose and/or be bankrupted, as we do want a continuance of what we do.

We intend to ride the crest of a financial wave, forever and have formed associations to represent us all over the world and to lobby those “you elect” to ensure that the rights you want are sufficiently muddied so that you and the court will be confused. Should you lose we will bankrupt you and take your home.

We will arrange finance (if required), and by our chosen bankers who will charge high sums and defend us, as they to have an interest in what we do.

If you decided to leave the club, we will create associations which will give you advice, but it will be our advice and should you elect to use another (not of our ilk) they too will be admonished and via our own enforcement departments.

We will be constantly changing the product and inviting you to other meetings to try and sell you another wonderful way for us to make money.

We will constantly try and upgrade you (if you pay us more money) however when you have had enough, we will not rebuy anything we sold and the products sold will be worthless.

We will nurture the salesmen and when they leave, they will be well equipped to fleece you further in the sale of other equally bad products and other similar unkempt and sometimes worthless products.

If you try and sell your timeshare to others, you will not find the process straightforward. Despite the law suggesting that the resellers cannot charge a fee, they will and our association will turn a blind eye, as long as they are a member of our group.

When excited, you will receive a huge “sigh”, but it will be short-lived, as others will court you to invest a further vast amount of money. You will also be placed onto a mugs list so that others can enjoy what we have.

Posted on: 10th March 2017